Wednesday, October 14, 2009


We, as people, are a culmination of our memories. The stories we share with are friends and families are rooted in memories. The experiences that mould us are our memories. Therefore, memories are an integral part of ones life. And with that I wonder - What will I remember when I am old and gray?

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time wondering will I remember this?? Will I remember that?? I don't know why this has become a focus of mine. Is it that I realize just how small we are in the grand scheme of things. How quickly time passes and how those memories fade as time marches on.

Just yesterday I was trying to tell a once funny story to my sister about a memory of Ryan and I in which we went on a haunted tour of Kingston which ended up disastrous with our bus stuck at Fort Henry on Halloween night. That once funny story was foggy to recall and events have dropped out of my memory making me sad that I couldn't remember the details. Thus making me wonder yet again - what will I remember when I am nearing the end of my life.

I hope that I will always remember the night in which Ryan first kissed me. The night that Ryan proposed and the day of our wedding. These are memories that are still quite vivid in my mind. But there are every day events that fade so quickly that I want to remember too...

Then I think about Lyla. There is so much that I don't want to forget. Will I remember how she yells my name even when I am standing right bedside her. Her signature 'Ma-Ma!' I don't think I could ever forget that. Will I remember how she how she reads her storybooks to me? How she wants to do somersaults? How she loves to dance? How Ryan and her cheer for football together? How she dances to music? How she giggles and screams as she plays? How she loves to be outside? And how she cries when we come inside? How she loves her teddy? And how she loves her Mama and her Daddy and gives us kisses and hugs now? These are all things I wonder if they will to become foggy... I sure hope not.

My answer is to start blogging again more, to help me preserve my memories. So, when I am 90 and my memories are foggy my granddaughter can bring me her computer and show me my stories so I can remember my memories...

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